I'm having a hard time with this.

It's not all this healthy living stuff I'm having a hard time with. I'm having a hard time with the HUGE upcoming change that's upon us. And by us, I mean me and Charlie.  Starting tomorrow I have a week long workshop that I'll be attending from 8:30-4:00. Do you KNOW how long that is? It will be the longest I've ever been away from him in his whole 3 months of life! So, I'm having a hard time. I've said it before. I'm a worker. I love my job and I look forward to working. However, I've just gotten used to this stay at home mom thing...and now I have to go BACK? How is that fair? I mean, it's not that I'm really dreading it, well a little I am. But it's just that I'm going to miss stuff! I am super lucky that my Nana is going to watch Charlie while I'm working (thank you for saving me about $800/month), but that means she's not going to miss stuff and I'm going to be so jealous of her. I'm going to miss him!

Who couldn't miss this face?

I've been thinking a lot about how this change is going to affect my working out/eating right new life. And it's probably going to change it a lot. It will change in a good way for my eating habits because I'll be on a consistent routine throughout the week. (I make no promises on the weekend.) And I'll also have to do some extra planning for lunches and dinners and snacks since I pack mine and Chris' lunch and snacks every day.

I'm much more nervous about the impact that my going back to work and leaving Charlie for 8+ hours every day is going to have on my workout routine. How can I justify spending an hour or so at the gym after I've spent so long away from him already? How can I justify that hour when he'll only be awake for about 3 hours after I get off work? And...well...right now, I can't. I mean, I'm going to see how it goes and I'm certainly not going to stop going to the gym altogether. I just might not be going during the week for a while. I called my dear friend Rachel tonight with this exact question. She gave me some wonderful advice and suggestions. I'm going to walk and run with Charlie in the stroller after school instead of going to the gym. That way I'm not away from him for any more time than I have to be. I'll go to turbo on Saturday's and that will be that. I have to make the adjustment to working first, before I can make any decisions/commitments to a gym routine.

I'm just going to have to slow this train down for a little bit. I'm not giving up. I'm really really not. I'm just going to have to take it one step at a time. When school starts back, I'll be mostly focusing on eating healthily and training for my 5k in October. Oh, I picked the 5k. It's for a good cause. You should sign up. It's the Wiggle Butt 5k, raising money for the WNC Boxer Rescue.  Gym time will just have to wait until I can figure this whole thing out, which may take years! ;)

On another subject, we had a super busy day today. Charlie and I went on a walk and then went to church this morning. Then I dropped him off at his Nema's so that Chris and I could have a date. We went to Bele Chere (WHERE I DID NOT NOT NOT HAVE A FUNNEL CAKE!!! *tear*), people watched, went to a $1 movie (We LOVE Cinnebar! Hangover 2 - not as funny as I expected, by the way), made a quick Sam's run, picked up Charlie, ate dinner at J&S (where I'm pretty sure we were the absolute youngest people there), then home, put the baby boy to bed, did some grocery shopping (thought about buying a box of Little Debbies and eating them all on the way home, but the thought of that made me want to vomit) and got stuff ready for the big first day away from my baby boy tomorrow. Shew. Busy Sunday Funday!

Breakfast: 5 graham crackers with peanut butter
Lunch: BBQ, baked beans, cornbread, strawberry lemonade
Snack: (At the movies) fried pickles, 2/3 coffee milkshake :/
Dinner: Salisbury steak, potatoes, roll, watermelon
Snack: cheese and crackers
Exercise: 40 minute walk with dogs and stroller

Another thing I want to start doing with my posts is mentioning some of Charlie's milestones, so that when I think back I can remember how old he was when he go to them. So, here goes. One thing he's been doing for a couple weeks, which is so funny, is putting things straight in his mouth. Everything - toys, fingers, hands, my fingers, my nose, anything he gets in his hand or near his mouth - goes straight in. But then, he makes a face like "Oh my. That wasn't what I expected at all." You know, like when you take a sip of your water and it turns out they've given you Sprite by mistake. So funny. I'll add some pictures next time (especially for you Rachel!).

OK, I know this is a particularly LONG post, but I have a lot to say tonight. One last thing, and I promise I'm done. My dear friend Megan is also blogging about her weight loss. She is also a teacher. So we have similar schedules and routines. She is actually the person who has inspired me to start blogging. I just want to let you know, so that if my blog becomes to rambling and boring, please check out hers because it is so awesome and funny, and I can practically hear the words coming straight out of her mouth!
Check out Megan's blog.

I'll let you know how the week  goes. Be thinking of me as I cry on my way to work tomorrow! :*(